Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Trauma
"But now I'm sad and alone. I'm going to become bitter and distrustful of people because one person betrayed me." Santiago (
The Alchemist)
Those lines somehow struck me as I was rereading that book by Paulo Coelho. It didn't mean anything to me when I first read the book about a year ago, but somehow, it's taken on new meaning now.
I remember being an extremely trusting person, too trusting for my own good. I was always ready to look on the brighter side of things, and to focus blindly on the good in people. But now, I'll be the first to admit that I seem to be overly suspicious of everyone I come across.
If there's one thing I've learned to take into heart, it's the thought that people will always disappoint you. One of my very good friends told me that "disappointments spring forth from failed expectations." Like everyone else, I hate getting disappointed. That's probably why I've been keeping my distance from people lately, not readily letting just about anyone into my life as blindly as I used to. No longer do I expect the best from people for fear of getting disillusioned yet again.
In a way, it's protected me from getting hurt, but at the same time, I also feel like I'm missing out on something by being overly cautious. I don't want to turn into just another uptight, embittered, frigid witch.
God, help me rise above this trauma.
posted by mari_elle at
20:26
