Give the Day a Chance to Start

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Confessions of a quarterlife-crisis drama queen

I was happily going through the motions of my Friday routine today. I woke up bright and early (if 10 am is still considered early) to attend my favorite dance class at the gym, feeling quite contented with my present state of existence. When I got to class, I noticed a familiar face - a nice young-looking lady who wore a perpetual smile on her face. She was one of those uninhibited people who would dance like there's no tomorrow, so since we had that in common, I struck conversation with her.

To my surprise, this lady who didn't look much older than me was a happily married housewife with two young children. She was 32! What amazed me was that though she was a full decade older than me, she appeared really youthful. Take note: it was not only because she had young-looking features or a slim healthy physique. It was really more because of the aura she had about her. When I asked her how she managed to NOT age, she beemed with pride as she shared with me how much fun she's been having with raising two girls. She also said, "Well, it's also because my husband SPOILS me." When we parted ways, she was rushing because she had to buy flowers for a party tomorrow.

How nice. Here was a full-fledged housewife, whose most pressing concern was choosing the right color of petals, and it all made me feel so envious of her life. That just about shattered this whole self concept that I was pretty much content with my life and that I didn't easily envy others. But after that encounter, I found myself wanting.

I guess just like any other woman, I do want to settle down, I do want to raise a family, and I do want to be taken cared of. Up until now, I've managed to convince myself that I was an independent young woman at my prime who just could not be distracted by the thought of committing my peak career years to starting and raising a family. "No way. Not now," I thought. "And waste all those years of studying and work experience?"

But let's face it: when I do achieve my career goals, what then? Wouldn't I want a nice home and family to come home to? Wouldn't I want to have loved ones on whom I can lavish the fruits of my labor? Wouldn't I want to take life easy and concentrate on building a life and not merely a career?

That lady from the gym has all that at the age of 32. I wonder if I'll get there within the next ten years as well.