Give the Day a Chance to Start

Monday, May 14, 2012

Once a Mother, Always a Mother

Yesterday (May 13) was Mother's Day.  It was also my very first Mother's Day.  I anticipated it would be a difficult 24 hours because I'd just be reminded that I'm a mother without her child.

The truth was, however, that by God's grace and the knowledge I have of His love for me, it turned out to be a great day.  I had my moments and shed some tears, but God gave me reason to be grateful.

I'm thankful for the people who greeted me and didn't forget that I was still a mom regardless of my situation.  I'm thankful for my mom friends who let me play with their babies to my heart's content so that I, too, could experience the joy growing babies could bring.  I'm thankful for a wonderful husband who woke me up with a "Happy Mother's Day" greeting and reminded me of the hope in happier days like these.  And most of all, I'm thankful that God gave me Brooke, and that because of her, I became a mother forever.

Belated happy Mother's day to all moms reading this!  I pray you all had reason to celebrate the gift of motherhood no matter what season you are in.  Motherhood is indeed one of God's greatest gifts to us women.

Labels: Brooke, faith, family

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Learning from Young Me

I did the old fashioned thing and wrote on my journal this morning, asking questions and just allowing myself to be honest with God about my heartache.  I flipped back to earlier entries written by a younger me, and I was reminded by 25-year-old Marielle something valuable in this season.  Here's how the entry went:

January 7, 2011
  On the way to work this morning, I was singing to a Michael Gungor song that goes "You make beautiful things.  You make beautiful things out of the dust."  I was driving down the Katipunan C5 flyover at that time and as I saw the rising bright morning sun, I couldn't but recall the times I drove down that road, looking at the same morning sky, and back then, I was alone and asking God to heal my heartaches.
  Over a year later, I found more than what I was looking for.  I see myself now married to the best man I've ever met and my heart mended completely.
  Lord, you truly make things beautiful.




I wrote that entry looking back at how heartbroken I was in 2008 and at how God completely healed me from the hurts of that year.  Now, in my brokenness, I'm letting myself be taught by a younger me that there is no room for hopelessness even as I endure this pain.  God has already shown Himself faithful, and all I need to do is trust that He will make all things new.  As He is beautiful, He will make even this tragedy beautiful in His time.

Labels: Brooke, faith, love