Give the Day a Chance to Start

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Test of Character

Warning: Contect my be too emo for the so-called emophobes.

My life is pretty uneventful on the whole. I've been through a handful of challenges, but on average, I'd say it's been relatively peaceful. The monotony (for pessimists) or tranquility (for optimists) gets occasionally interrupted by certain circumstances or people from time to time, though. I'm going through a tough one right now.

All this makes me think about how I've handled obstacles I was faced with in the past. Did I just go through them, barely surviving without having learned anything? Or can I honestly look back and proudly say that I've built character along the way? I guess the only way to tell whether I've grown stronger or not is how I will handle future challenges, like this one I'm faced with now. I believe this is a test of character, and that God is teaching me to look beyond myself and be strong for the people around me, especially my parents who suffer the most from this.

Of course, I never could do it on my own. I'm clinging on to the promise:

Isaiah 40:31
...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I hope this blows over soon. Otherwise, I might just have a saddest birthday of my life.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Requisite love-post this February

I went on a short road trip with my officemates to Bataan last Saturday for our boss, Lui's, birthday bash. Like most excursions of the sort, a lot more things happened (or shall I say "a lot were discussed") during the drive to and fro than during the actual party. We were all probably too busy helping ourselves to endless servings of Filipino specialty dishes his mama whipped up by her lonesome. It was a challenge munching and chatting at the same time. Since we were all famished from the 2-hour drive, talking was put on hold as we silently and intently masticated every single delectable bite.

You could say we pulled the eat-and-run on Lui. (So sorry, Lui. We could have stayed a bit longer had it not been for me. Peace!")

Of course going home meant spending another two hours on the road back to Manila. So that actually totals four or more hours of pure chit-chat. What do we choose to talk about? What else? Love.

Bleh...

Of course it started out with me, nagging my colleague to spill on the developments with his current prospect. And much to my dismay, he turned the tables around and started playing 20 questions, directing the spotlight straight at me. As it happens, I totally choked when asked about my "love life". For some reason, I always get caught of guard when asked about it, not because I don't want to discuss such matters, but rather because I really don't have much to say.

Flashback: During one of the welcome orientations I handled when I still worked at HTMT, I was faced with that same dilemma. One of the trainees asked me in front of the whole batch, "Ms. Marielle, do you have a boyfriend?" to which I gamely responded with an honest "No." And then! And then came that dreaded follow-up query, "Why?" A very vulnerable, flushed Marielle was then left with nothing at all to say. I honestly could NOT get a single peep out of myself for the plain and simple fact that my brain went on a flatline. Panic struck when I realized that I didn't have a ready, reasonable answer. Now, isn't that pathetic? I don't even remember how I wiggled my way out of that sticky interrogation, with that full room of trainees waiting all-ears for my answer. It was so traumatic I probably shoved it deep into my subconscious. How humiliating for a 21 year old to get all tongue-tied like an awkward, naive adolescent!

Back to the road trip: I wasn't able to evade that "Why?" question, but I did have a ready answer for it this time around. I practiced alright.

I explained that guys just seem to be too hesitant about taking the plunge for girls these days. While I can understand that it's only normal to be cautious and to fear getting turned down and burned, I do believe that ladies should be pursued. So what if that means running the risk of rejection? So what if it takes tons of time and effort to win the trust and heart of someone? Aren't women worth taking that chance for after all? I'm not saying that men should be given a hard time. Far from it! I just believe that men should step up to the challenge. Call me old fashioned, but that's still a belief I hold dear. Just the same, we ladies are NOT to play games with men by leading them on. We should treat them with the same decency by honestly letting them know where they stand early on. The question is: How then can we set things straight when men (most, not all) aren't willing to reveal their true intentions in the first place?

Roles. Just a matter of roles and responsibilities in these kinds of relationships.

God forbid I go into this whole dissertation on my beliefs about courtship, dating, and love. Don't get me started. But what do I know, right? These are just my opinions and my long-held principles.

One thing I do know for sure is that very few were willing to take the plunge. That's my answer. And it's all I have to say about that.