There will be more candles to my birthday cake this time. Last year, I was in denial and declared I was 13 plus 10, but this year, I've accepted and am quite proud as my 24th year of life culminates in 9 days.
I just don't know how I want to celebrate it. All I know is that I do want to celebrate the year that has come and gone, get all my loved ones together, and acknowledge God's faithfulness in my life.
This song expresses my sentiments exactly:
Twenty-four Switchfoot
Twenty-four oceans Twenty-four skies Twenty-four failures And twenty-four tries Twenty-four finds me In twenty-fourth place With twenty-four drop outs At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was Twenty-four hours ago Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You' And I'm not who I thought I was Twenty-four hours ago Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You'
There's twenty-four reasons To admit that I'm wrong With all my excuses Still twenty-four strong
See, I'm not copping out Not copping out Not copping out When you're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man Oh, oh I am the second man now Oh, I am the second man now And you're raising these...
Twenty-four voices With twenty-four hearts All of my symphonies In twenty-four parts But I want to be one today Centered and true I'm singing 'Spirit take me up in arms with You' You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man Oh, oh I am the second man now Oh I am the second man now And you're raising the dead in me Yeah
I wanna see miracles To see the world change Wrestled the angel for more than a name For more than a feeling For more than a cause I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You' And you're raising the dead in me
Twenty-four oceans With twenty-four hearts All of my symphonies With twenty-four parts Life is not what I thought it was Twenty-four hours ago Still I'm singing 'Spirit, take me up in arms with You' I'm not copping out Not copping out
I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough
Been a fool, girl I know Didn't expect this is how things would go Maybe in time, you'll change your mind Now looking back i wish i could rewind
Because i can't sleep til you're next to me No i can't live without you no more Oh i stay up til you're next to me Til this house feels like it did before Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up
Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know) Didn't expect this is how things would go Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind) Now looking back i wish i could rewind
Because i can't sleep til you're next to me No i can't live without you no more (without you no more) Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me) Til this house feels like it did before (Because it) Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah), Feels like insomnia ah ah
Ah, i just can't go to sleep Cause it feels like I've fallen for you It's getting way too deep And i know that it's love because
I can't sleep til you're next to me No i can't live without you no more (without you no more) Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me) Til this house feels like it did before Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
I've been staring at the sky tonight Marvelling and passing time Wondering what to do with daylight Until I can make you mine You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I've been thinking of changing my mind It never stays the same for long But of all the things I know for sure You're the only certain one You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I've been counting up all my wrongs One sorry for each star See I'd apologise my way to you If the heavens stretched that far You are the one I want, you are the one I want
[Chorus] I won't find what I am looking for If I only "see" by keeping score 'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic
'Cos if I add, if I subtract If I give it all, try to take some back I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact That you are the sum So you are the one I want
When the years are showing on my face And my strongest days are gone When my heart and flesh depart this place From a life that sung your song
There's one song I've been singing non-stop for the past several weeks and seems to be perfect for what I anticipate I'll be going through for the next few months: a season of waiting.
Brooke Fraser sings it perfectly in her song Faithful
"Faithful"
There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave I wave my arms 'round about me and blow with all my might I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here But the comfort of you near is what i long for
[CHORUS] When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray And i want you more than i want to live another day And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful
All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue, Knowing you're the only one who knows me You know me
[CHORUS] When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray And i want you more than i want to live another day And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful [BRIDGE] Show me how I should live this Show me where I should walk I count this world as loss to me You are all I want You are all I want
Faithful - Brooke Fraser This song is in complete agreement with God's promise for me this year:
Psalm 27:14 (New International Version)
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
And I must say, I used to be somewhat of an impatient person, but I'm enjoying this season of waiting, of stillness, of anticipation for God's breakthroughs but at the same time a quiet assurance that He's already working on it and that all He wants me to do is surrender.
My prayer is that you may all feel the love of God which He has so graciously poured out for me, for everyone. This Valentine's season, I just want to declare that His love endures forever (Psalm 106:1).
There will be more candles to my birthday cake this time. Last year, I was in denial and declared I was 13 plus 10, but this year, I've accepted and am quite proud as my 24th year of life culminates in 9 days.
